Treasures in the Trash

Certain items should not be put curbside for the weekly trash pick-up. In our neighborhood, we have local "treasure" hunters who scrimmage the trash before dawn to find another's throw-away that might be of some value at the local flea market or junk store. Little did I know that my then, 6 year old daughter might be the new upcoming treasure hunter. My eldest son was in the front yard hanging out with his buddies. My daughter asks to break free of my watchful eye, and sit on the curb with him and his friends. I warn him to keep an eye on her, and return to bagging leaves on the other side of the yard. Within a few minutes, mommy gut tells me to check on her. As I approach the front of the house, I can hear her in pure child glee, making Darth Vaderish woosh noises. Baby sister to three brothers, and here she is playing sword. Sword? Sword? She has a sword! A purple sword in her hands. Odd, I don't recall a purple sword? A long, large, odd shaped, purple sword. As I get closer, my son has caught the full view of the Star Wars re-enactment. He is on the ground belly rolling-howling- laughing. To my delayed horror, my daughter has in her hands a large purple female sexual toy. Yes a vibe-rator, not to be confused with vibe-vader! I scream. Daughter puts "toy" behind her back. I scream "drop that". Daughter runs with purple "sword" swinging by her side, the tears already coming. "But, I found it, it's mine!" One more, but this time-mommy-your life is in jeopardy-I am your mother-scream, "drop that", and the "sword" is on the ground. Skipping all the details, the antibacterial soap washing to her armpits, the red-faced sobbing for the devastating loss of her new purple sword, I discovered the Darth Vader purple, can I say, heat seeking "sword" slash "treasure" was found by my daughter in my neighbors trash. Not in a garbage can, but in a paper grocery sack set to the side. I now keep my children in the house on trash day. I find myself daily bestowing the virtues of buying items brand new from the store. And my neighbors? I still smile and wave at them, but I do have a new vision of her and husband-him as Princess Leia and her as lady Darth Vader.